A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her

pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the

bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,

your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the

vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any

testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few

minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on

in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the

examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up

at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few

minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also

delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its

haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is

most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill,

which he handed to the woman... The duck's owner, still in shock, took the

bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill

would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now

$150."