I'm am getting back to work.

Going to a project in White Oak, MD for about 8 months. I'll be just outside DC.

Can I get a temp MOFO memebership?

Betcha that will work ,as long as you buy the beer!

Shiner?

Heck yeah! Not sure how far away you are/were in PA, but DC puts you close to us too... well, within an hour or so.

We'll make sure to get together at some point - hopefully when the weather's a little warmer. I don't have warm enough blood to stay out in the cold long! hehehe

Or wait, did you say Shiner?

Robert, MOFO membership usually involves some sort of ritual hazing. In this instance, installing a new heater core in frozen Ashtray's '68 would prove you worthy of the MOFO gang.

Larry's got a point... and I could use the heat!

White Oak, Maryland eh? Get the checkbook out Robert. Location, Location!!

Have you been mentally prepped on DC/MD/VA Beltway driving protocol and etiquette? Amervo and the MD gang will fill you in. Might be safer just to rent a helicopter for your eight month stay there.

DC/MD/VA Beltway driving protocol and etiquette???...LOL

Let's just say that on my visit to LA last year, I drove around through Labor Day traffic, as well as weekday rush hour traffic on the major highways - and couldn't understand why everyone was staying in their lanes! I kept looking over my shoulder for cops or cameras, or something! I mean, everyone complains how terrible driving around LA is, but it seemed tame to me - besides the heavy traffic.

For the DC beltway (and MD beltway, and Rt 95, etc) you'll want to install some ramming bars on the *sides* of your vehicle. Lanes are suggestions, not rules. And changing from one to another seems to require no predetermination. Speed limits are enforced by police, every so often. Otherwise it's every man for themselves - and get out of my way!

Oh - try not to make eye contact with people on the beltway unless you get a good look at them first...

Also, people on cell phones have the right of way.

And if an auto accident is even somewhat visible from the road you're driving on, you're required to come to a complete stop to gawk, even if the accident is on the other side of the road, or on a side road, or just involves a car getting pulled over, or changing a flat tire. Under no circumstances should you actually stop to *help* someone - you're job is to just gawk at them.



I'm sure I missed a bunch of "rules" that I consider so basic they're not worth mentioning!

Hmmm DC


1. Never use your turn signals. You may as well hang a huge "TOURIST" sign on your car.

2. Following more than 1.0000001 car lengths behind the car in front is telling the guy to the right or left of you that you want them to cut you off and take that huge spot in front of you.

3. Seriously ==> Do NOT stop at yellow lights. Your sign would then read "HIT ME." If you find it necessary to abide by the law, USE your rear-view mirror first!

4. Do NOT do the speed limit on the Beltway (95/495) in one of the middle lanes. This is an invitation to be vigorously passed on the left AND right.

5. Beware the photo radar enforcment and photo red light enforcment. These have been acknowledged by the local PD for their revenue generation and NOT their public safety enhancement.

6. DC drivers suck. They are mean and impatient. Expect them to be buttholes and then you won't stress-out when they cut you off, etc.

Local outsiders refer to the driving art as the Baltimore Washington shuffle.

Whoever's survey has crowned us as number one in the US for worst traffic. LA folks like to claim the honor, but they don't have a clue. During studies of ecomonies and the bubbles that can break, B/W economy is supposed to be 100% garunteed ression proof. Suddenly the issue of traffic came up, it gets worse every day. If it contiues to worsen at its present pace, it could collapse our economy because of the neverending gridlock.

The area where Smitty lives is the worse of the worst, and you would have to witness it firsthand to understand.

This is why DC drivers suck. I was a "DC" driver before I recently swiched jobs and did most of my work in DC. I'm a polite driver, and I would even let other drivers in when driving the DC area.

Maintaining my polite driving skills, I still must be an assertive driver, and honed my skills to a rezor sharp technique. This the way to allow someone to change lanes--someone who needs to change lanes, not one of those @$$holes that has to be in front of you. What happens is that the cars behind the one you let in perceive you to be pansy driver, something that will be ran off of the road. You let the car in. As you let the car in, you veer slightly to the right. That way, the rest of the cars cannot weasel in a bumper between you and the one your cutting a breake to.

To change lanes: It doesn't work with the mean and smart driver, but it works well with the mean and stupid drivers, a signinfigant amount of the drivers. They race up to the car in front, but if they don't stay to the slight right of the car in front of them (people have a tendency to a little to the left, so that they can survey traffic ahead.) This little to the left is all it takes to squeeze a bumper into even a half inch space.

I like some following room. I would like to abide by the 2 second rule, but you have to drive with about 3/3 of a second max. Regardless to the speed, you cannot allow a car's length. If you allow a car's lenght, the traffic will continue to fill the space. As a result, you have to continue to slow down in order to maintain the car's lenght. I'm not crying about loosing a couple of seconds. If you allow a car lenght, you will be moving quite a bit slower than the natural flow of the traffic.

The thing I find amazing is that the traffic, during the times it moves, is that there aren't more accidents than there are. It's not uncommon to drive 85 to 90 mph, with the traffic with less than a car lenght, even the little ol ladies with siver hair.

The local saying is "Welcome to Baltimore, hun."

So I may have to resort to skills when I learned to drive....in NY?

No problem....

My first real job out of high school was to run parts for a Ford dealership throughout Nassau, Queens and parts of Brooklyn.

Ah, the MD gang has spelled it all out, thanks guys.

I grew up and spent my first 21 years on this earth in MD/VA/DC. Visit there 3-4 times a year since leaving.

Looks like the rules have not changed a bit.

Yeah - if you put your turn signal on, it's like telling the other team what play you're about to run. Their defense will be ready before you can move the wheel!

You'll even get people BEHIND you change lanes (into the one you wanted to change to) in order to pass you b/c they think you're an idiot. Oh, and no way are they going to let you in either! So it compounds the problem.

I like to use my signal once I'm halfway in the other lane, or at the very last second when I'm already over the line. This way they know they've just been served. I'm not some driver who drifted out of his lane - I did it on purpose!

Best way to change lanes is to almost hit the rear bumper of the car next to you. Once you complete the lane change, you should be about 2-3' off their bumper! (that's the 1 car length rule - gives people a space to jump in!) After you're in the lane, you can slow down and give it 10' off the other guy's bumper.

With time and practice, you can tell exactly *who* is about to change lanes and when!

On a related note - I'm going to order some Hella Supertones for my daily driver. These are very loud horns that put out about 118db of sound. As a comparison, that would make them 7x louder than a standard horn! Think ambulance horn volume. Yeah - that's what I'm talking about! If someone makes me use my horn, I'll be sure they need to change their shorts afterwards! hehehe