Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie. Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be screwed if he needed glasses".
I know a real life little johnny (actully name!), once told a friend of his moms "my mom says you have the ulgiest baby she has ever seen"...thenas everyone gasped..."what mom, you said it, I didnt!"
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland ..' > > The other guy responds proudly, 'Yes, that I am!' > > The first guy says, 'So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be'? > > The other guy answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.' > > The first guy responds, 'So am I!' > > 'Sure and begorra. And what street did you live on in Dublin ? > > The other guy says, 'A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.' > > The first guy says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! > And to what school would you have been going'? > > The other guy answers, 'Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course.' > > The first guy gets really excited and says, 'And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate'? > > The other guy answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.' > > The first guy exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!' > > About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. > > Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.' > > Vicky asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian'? > > 'The Murphy twins are drunk again..' >