Old, but still good....

Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway."


Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

OK, you got a smile out of me. But I prefer several of my own sayings.

Like, "Engineering is the attempt to eliminate human stupidity. Thus we will always have jobs."

And another, "The Internet is the best and fastest way to proliferate bad information since the start of time".

And last: "My job description is simple - to prevent those who come behind me in 10 or 20 years from saying, "Who's the idiot who built it this way'."

good ones also!

I thought for sure by now Craig would have chimed in though...lol

I will then....love it...seen most of the descriptions, and I like Salmons last one....fits right in to many of the buildings I am doing....

....but I think next, we need a set for architects! those ultimate coordinators of all the other disciplines....or used to be! Been a long time since I have seen a good set of coordinated documents...!

Sorry, busy day! Yes, I have seen most of these for years. But why comment on the truth??

So lets talk about architects. I have a 1st cousin who lived close by when I was growing up so I have known him his entire life. Not only did he become an architect, he got his Masters degree in that field. He even came to visit me when I was living in Germany to see an old 1930's subdivision in northern Stuttgart that was build by the German equivilent to Frank Lloyd Wright.

He finally went out on his own a few years ago and I have the link to his website someplace. If you were to read about how he works with the earth and nature to design your building, you would see why he is (was?) a Greatful Dead fan. I am surprised he does not drive a VW Microbus.

ANYWAY, as I have learned from studying his case - if you realize that all architects are failed artists - then you will understand what makes them tick.

I could start my description this way...

There are two specific types of Architects... And they generally know 'which' type they are...

Here - I will paste a sample from my cousin's website for your enjoyment while avoiding complete embarassment by NOT posting his link:

Introduction:
According to the saying, a farmer knows better than to soil his own well water. We expect those working close to the land over generations to understand how natural systems work, and what the effects of their choices have on their livestock, their fields, and even the larger watershed. However, in our own lives, we are often unaware of the complex impacts our actions have on our property, our neighbors, and the environment. How then may we employ the wisdom of the farmer in our approach to design? As a team, we must determine what we need to know to make the best informed decisions. The following is a discussion of the steps we propose to take with our clients, in the pursuit of a mutually lasting satisfaction with what we build.

Homes:
At XXX ARCHITECTURE, we strive to find the fuel for the start of every residential design project in the basic affinities, beliefs, and values that a family brings to the process of creating or reinventing their home. Once revealed, this collection of personal aspirations and meaning may be documented in order to bring together the human sources for the will to make, with the physical haracteristics of a site and the raw materials for building. When these two realms engage and we see reflection of each in our design decisions, it is cause for celebration. Celebrating the unique in place and special in people is the spirit that defines our home design process.

LOL, I take the position that form follows function, and less is more....and when designing a house you make the plan/flow first ,then you add the 'lipstick' = exterior design...and when remodel or adding to a house , you make it look like part of existing ,so it does not look like a remodel or addition , UNLESS you redesign the whole thing...let me add a couple of pics of a house I remodeled /added to...it was a 45 yr old ranch style one story...see if you can tell what people driving by think?

here two new from scratch...almost across the street from ea other...and basically have the same floor plan...done for the same builder/contractor

Um...Who left the lights on??

and in Seattle,( Medina , +- 1/2 mi from Bill Gates`), this house an addition (second floor), remodel (with exterior change)

Seattle (Kirkland)

from that balcony in the rear ,. and kitchen next to it ,you can see Mt Rainier (on a good day!lol)
Master suite abv.

LOL, nope ,they ask the owner if he knows he lives in a Frank Lloyd Wright house! lol...he tells them , no its not....and often get in an argument about it...

AND...see if this hits you!

on that same trip ...when at Kirkland house...the car in first pic belongs to Joe (Williams?) living in Kirkland , just around the corner basically...and Brett L. is in the pic with the guys at XXX Root beer place in Issaquah (Brian Sargent drove me in his red 69)

got off the track here, but common thread "engineers", as some were involved in the houses, plus in the car pics...lol

and I was an Engineer before Architect...graduated as a Construction engineer in Sweden...

as we used to say back home:
"six munce ago I cutnt evn spel enginer and now I are one!"

Back in the late '60's early '70's I was with the combat engineers (A co 84th engineers Viet-nam) but I guess that was a little different. We could fix just about anything though. Not a whole lot of education but a lot of common sense.

Bjorn, nice houses and I see you got to enjoy our wonderful weather. Our winshield wipers all work up here.LOL

thx

Bjorn,

Have you designed any East Lake's?

I have a soft spot for cool Victorian's.

no , I have not...."Victorians" are what we Swedes call "Carpenters happiness"..lol...but recently added to two 100 yr old Vvictorian houses"...one addition to rear plus a larger front porch, just finished a porte cochere addion on the side to another, with a master suite on top...no pics, not built yet

This is the addition I designed to our 1930 farmhouse.

nice, good job...
...in July I travel to outside Baton Rouge to do an addition /remodel to this 200 yr old Plantation... http://www.poplargroveplantation.com/
its still in the Wilkinson family, once owned by General Wilkinson, first governor of Louisiana

Very nice. Looks like a 30's mansion. You must be very happy with your home.

We love it. I always tell my wife she can bury me out in the back 40.

I plan to never move. But my kids may have the final say when I am a little more feeble than I am today...